An English Rant

I spent most my day working with nothing special, so here I intend to rant about things the British do that make no sense to me and are actually inconvenient. Let's begin.

Walking. You would think for a place where you pretty much have to walk to get anywhere, people would have this one down. Not even close. In America, foot traffic pretty much flows in one direction on each side of the sidewalk, especially in the cities. Here, they just go wherever they feel like, in the street, on the sidewalk. My favorite today was the two girls with their arms locked together slowly zigzagging down the sidewalk. They didn't feel like go fast, and they sure made it hard to go around them. Or they like to walk in lines spread out across the sidewalk. They're not all together, they're just all walking at the same pace with no room between them and no one will move as you come at them, so you either have to push through or run around the whole line.
Also, they like to stop in the middle of the sidewalk. I understand the tourists who do, sometimes with cameras. Irritating, but whatever, been there. No, Brits will just stop, sometimes to look in the window, other times to sharply turn around and nearly walk into the person behind them (aka me) or sometimes for no apparent reason at all. There not even holding a cell phone. Some of them are looking in shop windows from the middle of the sidewalk, and do not expect them to move, or to not suddenly start walking and mow you down in the process. Just aggravating.

Next, cars. Yes, I understand the need to drive to get places and move merchandise, yadda yadda. But honestly, this is a city mostly designed before cars, and the streets were just not made to handle them. And when people tend to walk in most the streets, especially the cobblestone ones, cars really just do not belong. Or big trucks, of which there are quite a few, and I have seen more than one situation where a giant truck was slowwwwly backing up to let another get past. And do not doubt they will drive on the sidewalk to get around obstacles. Or even park on the sidewalk. Again, I was walking down a side street that had an unusually wide sidewalk, and out of nowhere some little black car drove past me, onto the sidewalk 10ft in front of me, and parked there. Literally shut the car off parked. I couldn't believe, the stupid thing was just wide enough to cover from the building to the curb. The dude was sitting in there as I walked past, and were I a little braver or in America, he would have gotten flipped off, but I settled for a dirty stare. Also more than once I have almost been run over by a car coming onto the sidewalk to turn around on a one lane street. I understand the need to drive, but cars really need to be banned from the city center or severely limited.
One good note about cars here, and even the newer trucks and buses, you don't smell any exhaust as they drive by, there emissions are so low. Good thing too, cause gas prices here would give the average American a heart attack.

Somewhere between these two irritants are bicycles. Nimbler and smaller, there not as problematic as cars. Still, there are some main pedestrian foot paths and crowded sidewalks they like to ride through and nearly run people over. Seriously, get off and walk.

Ok, this one I don't know if it's just CMRS or other places, the only public restroom I've been to is in the Sackler and it didn't have this problem. There are two faucets for the sink, one for hot, one for cold, like those ancient push ones they have in elementary schools. It's dumb. The cold is like ice, and the hot gets scalding so fast, it's practically useless. The only way to get warm water is to put the stopper in the drain. And even when there's only one spout, the hot and cold are still separate, which is the case for our bathroom. At first I didn't notice, but when I realized this when I tried using it to shave after burning myself with the one in our room. Nope, the hot and cold are separate, and if you look carefully as the water comes out when they're both on, it looks like fangs. Stupid and painful.

American music. Honestly, I'm in Britain. I don't want to hear Kanye West as I walk through the mall or Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA when I go to a dance. And remixing a song with an extra 5min of techno beats does not make it British either. They were playing King's of Leon's in the cafeteria today, which I'm sick of hearing back home. And the real killer is stuff we had over the summer is new hear, so they're constantly playing it. Just, in this case, less American.

Food is actually not as bad as I was led to believe it would be. Only thing, there is no need to cook meat till the edges curl up, or to never use seasonings or sauces. Just saying. Oh, and the Ketchup here is sweeter than it is back home, probably has more sugar in it or something. Actually tastes better, and worse for you.

A serious overhaul of the building numbering system. Some are numbered, some have numbers with a letter, and others have a name so they don't need a number at all. If you actually have the "address" for a building, use it more as a general guide for where the building is, don't actually rely on it to give you an accurate location.

Smoking while you walk. I get that you aren't allowed to smoke indoors here anymore, and you need your fix, but really, go stand to the side or something. A lot of them lack the coordination to walk normally, so when you throw cigarettes into the mix, and also generally a cell phone, they're just obstacles. And they will exhale right in your face. Not even an attempt to look away or up to exhale the smoke, they shoot it right in your face. I honestly think some of them make a game out of it, seeing if they can hit the target of your nose. Very tempted to trip the next one who does this to, though I doubt it will happen. But after anotehr month or two, will see how I feel.

Lastly, language. I understand that it's to cultures separated by a common language, but some of them don't make sense. Like calling a line a queue. A queue is when you set something to run automatically at a specific time, not what you do as you stand there waiting to buy groceries. Irritating. (And for all the talk about how much emphasis the British put on waiting your turn, bull. If you don't keep track of people, especially in the supermarket, they will cut you off.) Or how did fanny come to not mean in the back? Plus a hob means stove, which was very confusing at first. And they come up with some of the most disgusting names for food that actually taste good, it's just weird. (Though I'd like to know who eats some of the weird sandwich combinations they come up with.) Finally is the F-bomb. That has not lost its meaning, and if you thought people were bad about using it back home, cover your ears if you are ever around lay society here.

That's it. I'm sure I'll find more the next time I go out, or 30 sec. after I click post. Either way, maybe I'll make a 2nd one in the future. For now, I need to get back to work.